10 More Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

2. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

3. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

4. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

5. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”

6. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

7. While no one’s watching, quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest rooms.

8. Walk up to the customer service and when they say, “Hello, how may I help you?” say, “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet Coke”. And when they start to talk, say, “Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you, say, “Oh, this is because I’m gay, isn’t it? I’d expect this from Albertson's, but not Wal-mart. People who are gay are just like everyone else, you know. You disgust me”. Then walk away mumbling to yourself. If you're a guy, try to act as valley-girl-like as you can.

9. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that you're a prissy Englishman. Say things like “Cheerio, good man” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.

10. Walk up to a guy and say, “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god, it is! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!” Then kiss him. Then slap and him say, “Why didn’t you ever call me?” Then walk away. This is much more effective if you’re a guy.

Howl and I will post more hilarious Wal-Mart tips later this month, so stay tuned!